Wow, a single change that has revolutionized my work day. At least for now, while I'm working hard on this 10/1 deadline.
The big change I adopted from my co-worker is to plan my day. Break up the work day, assign work tasks to it...and adjust as needed.
So what works for me is to break the day in half - before and after noon. Several days I go to a group meditation during lunch, so it is a perfect intermission. I end each day with planning the next.
Why has this been such a monumental change? Because it's been a total mind fuck!
After a couple of weeks, I've developed these patterns:
🌼 if I don't cross off all the things I planned to do that day, I'm dissatisfied. That means I'm learning to plan realistically, but it also means I'm less likely to get distracted because distraction means not finishing something up before I go to meditation or before l leave for the day. It means not crossing something off.
🌼 I'm learning to respect the "boundary" of the noon hour. The idea is this: if I don't finish the morning task, I don't get to finish it in the afternoon; the afternoon is already scheduled. I've had mixed success with this boundary - it is a learning process. But I find it really motivates me to push hard to finish my morning task timely.
🌼 because of all this...drive...to cross everything off my list for the day, it's helping me to deal with my fear-driven need to procrastinate and paralyze over the tasks I dread. What seemed easy to assign the day before looks big and scary on the day I'm supposed to do it.
Here's where I've really learned to put an Alanon tool to work. In Alanon there's a "Just for Today" bookmark. The first item says "Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for 12 hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime."
It so happens this bookmark fell out of my Alanon book recently, and discovering it on the floor the next morning, I casually put it next to my monitor. But then I saw it every day, and kept thinking of that idea - doing something for a short time that would appall me to do for a long time. These tasks I paralyze over...i can do it for a short time today. And thinking that gets me through each task, one after another, one step at a time.
And all of this...its really just mind games. It's a mind fuck. It's nothing major I'm doing, and if I didn't want these mind games to have power over me, I wouldn't have to.
And yet...that's the magic of it all. It's about attitude and having a little faith. A little faith that this process I put into place can help me reach my deadline successfully. Having an open-mind to the idea of being driven by a simple desire to cross off all items...and that this desire can be taken seriously...that I don't have to scoff at it or ridicule myself or dismiss it for being trivial or trite. And during my Alanon journey in recovery, I'm developing an allergic reaction to the idea of "should". During this project, I have been successful with not creating undue anxiety by "shoulding" all over myself. If something takes longer or something else comes up, I am bring flexible and not judging myself or getting worked up.
It's a great recipe for success. A mind fuck to be sure. But one I welcome and am actually enjoying.
Beyond the details, it feels like all this is something bigger. I feel stronger, more empowered, more confident, and also more content. I worked hard this week and was content about a job well done. I like how all of this recent development is making me feel better as a person. I know there are more good things to come.
"The Prophet's Song" -- Queen
-- Friday, 8.17.18
🌼 Violette 🌼
p.s. font is too small I know. System won't keep my font change. I'll try again later - probably system oddity.
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